Silent Gays

 Silent Gays Logo

Addressing the pain, suffering and abuse of being gay in religion

  • You’ve tried to be “straight”, in fact you’ve pleaded with God through tears of shame, fear and guilt to take away this terrible “sin”!
  • Your stomach turns to knots and you feel sick when people talk about the evils of being gay, and pray with every ounce of strength you have, that you are putting on a good “straight” face.
  • You just can’t shake the possibility that you really are an “abomination” and destined for hell!
  • You are living a silent, dual life – with a secret that is too much to share – wondering how you’ll survive.
  • You even wonder if everything you’ve believed is a lie!

What is Silent Gays?

The Silent Gays Project is here to help people process their sexual and gender identities and the torment they suffer in their faith by providing the freedom and security to question everything, including their entire belief system, without fear.

Even those who have “left the faith” need a safe place to process and reconnect to their spirituality in whatever form that may take!

We want to help people recognise religious paradigms and discover their own unique identity and spiritual journey with respect, dignity and integrity. 


The project is focussed around the  Silent Gays website, which features a wide range of resources on all aspects of being LGBT in religious situations, including reparative (pray away the gay) therapy. There are resources that assist in the assessing and deconstructing of beliefs to assist people on their journey to life and freedom. 

For a very small subscription, anyone can become a “member” providing access to secure moderated forums and other member benefits. 

The website is directly linked to the Silent Gays Facebook page which posts hard hitting and relevant information and updates for the community as well as promoting discussion.

There is also a “secret” Silent Gays Facebook group where members are free to share their hearts (all the pain and crap) in a safe and secure environment.


It’s not just online either. We provide personal support in small groups in Auckland (and are aiming to create a network of groups worldwide). 

These groups are small and discrete, relaxed and non-threatening, usually in a café. There is no agenda other than providing a safe environment to share your heart, and receive unconditional love and support from others who understand. 


We also run seminars and workshops for anyone interested in understanding the nature and complexity of sexual and gender identity. These can be focussed for any type of community group and religious/spiritual organisation, as well as senior schools and tertiary organisations.

The core standards are always love, acceptance, compassion, nurture and empathy. Theology, doctrines or any specific religious beliefs are secondary to the support and unconditional love for every individual.

Contact this organisation