Being Religious and Gay

It is ironic that for someone who is not a fan of the Beatles should quote John Lennon as the title of such a serious topic but it is no more ironic than associating God with pain whereas God is supposed to be about love.

When I first saw that line, (of all places, on the wall of a public toilet), my heart ached in resonance. How it epitomized the guilt I felt over the dark years when I realized that I was at once both a Catholic and a man attracted to other men.

Christians are famous for their guilt though it is due more to the indoctrination of organized Christian administration rather than inherent truth. As a Catholic, I have been taught to chant: “mea culpa, mea culpa”. It is all our fault, “I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do [2].

In particular, gay people are clobbered with 5 passages from the Old Testaments [3] and 6 passages from the New Testaments [4] that are conventionally interpreted as God’s words in condemnation of gays and gay’s behaviour/relationship. To be honest, I have never been taught all those passages in details but even just from what I had picked up here and there in the news and discussions amongst the peers was sufficient to bring to bear a heavy weight upon my conscience. It was not until much later after I attended a talk by the liberal retired Episcopalian Bishop Spong before I understood how restricted and errant the conventional interpretations are. It was really uplifting and relieving to hear from a voice coming out of the religious hierarchy to explain the error and apologized on behalf of the Christian churches to all the gay people past and present, even though his was one of the few voices amongst the majority of the main stream Christians.

No matter how much scholarship had gone into the study and interpretation of the Bible, no matter how many scholars and liberal Christians have come out with explanations that those passages were written for a different time, place, culture and people and that some key words were mistranslated, [Conclusions of 3 & 4] the conservative Christians would still maintain that God has repeatedly condemn homosexuals and liberal Christians would disagree. People can and will interpret Bible or any sacred text in any way they want. Truth could not be revealed from reading the Bible if we are dead set in our mind on what we want to read from the Bible or any sacred text. How many wars have been and will continue to be fought in the name of religion? How many have and continue to die in the name of one’s faith?

The Bible is but a collection of text written by human authors who claimed to have been inspired by the Holy Spirit/God and selected by the human representatives of the Church for what they deemed to be the correct dogma to serve the purpose of the Church. There are other gospels that are not included in the Bible we read. [5] As it is, the Bible is full of conflicting passages as well as statements that have been refuted by modern science and archaeology. [6] As history has shown that the Popes were far from infallible and many leaders of other denominations have been found to be morally corrupt or legally convicted of the very crimes they decried. Why should one torture oneself with doctrines that may not be accurately interpreted by persons who are only human, by the Church that says that the Jews are a cursed race, that one can assassinate a non-Catholic ruler [7].

I think we have to ask ourselves that if it is our fault that we are attracted to men? Is it wrong to love another man with all our heart and soul? Have we forced other men to have sex with us against their will? Have we molested under age children? Finally, do we believe that we are created by God? Then how could we be wrong to follow the heart and mind that is created by God? Ultimately it is to God that we have to account to.

In the past, I had mixed feelings about going to church. On one hand I felt privileged to be at the house of God, to witness and share the miracle of the reincarnation of Christ but on the other hand, I felt totally demoralized as I could not partake in the Holy Communion because of my sexual orientation/practice. Until one Sunday, I happened to go to church with a good friend of mine, when he saw that I did not go for Communion, he touched my shoulder and whispered to me, “there is nothing that keeps you from God, His understanding surpasses all”. Lots of theologians might dispute that statement but to me, at the time, it was as if God had spoken. It was His invitation to me, to join Him once again.

In my long years of struggle, between the times I realized that I was attracted to men and be tormented by it up till the recent years when I feel much more at peace with myself. I had gone through various stages of emotion:

1. Anger – why me? Why couldn’t I be a normal straight boy who enjoyed the company of girls? But I had never experienced denial because I knew it was right for me.
2. Loneliness - I felt I was alone in my predicament, I was alone even though I was surrounded by crowds of people, no friends, nor folks could penetrate my thoughts, they were in a different world to mine because I felt nobody understood me.
3. Sadness - I was filled with this bitter sweetness of being in love but in love with no one in particular for my heart was filled with love for someone who had not yet existed for me.
4. Lost – I did not know what to do, where I should go from there
5. Excitement & joy – Love found, I wanted to tell everyone about it but was also afraid that other might find out that I was gay
6. Guilt – Before, I sinned only in my heart, now I sinned with my acts
7. Aggressive/defensive – I am gay, so what? I am what I am, there is nothing I could do to change and I would not change, if you are my friends, take me as I am.
8. Rationalization – analyzed myself, analyzed the world around me and tried to understand who I am, tried to understand why and how other people looked at gay people like myself and the way they treated us
9. Peace – came to terms with myself, with other people, with reality
10. Sharing and support – felt the need to help others who might be going through similar struggle

In the early days I lived my life in a haze, I would write secret journals and poems. I had opened up a good communication channel with God, I felt his presence (not in a dramatic Wagnerian shafts of light sense), more like my best friend. Even in my darkest hour, God had never forsaken me and neither had I of Him. There were times I felt alone. I might have felt “numb” or temporarily blocked in my private channel with God but He was always there for me. When I asked hard enough, long enough, He almost always granted my pleas, the answers or solutions might not have come at the time I wanted, or in the way I wanted but looking back they almost always turned out to be better than I could have devised for myself.

It is difficult enough to be gay and to be gay and Christian could be downright torturous but it is only torturous if we choose to believe that God is a God of wrath, a God that imparts guilt and metes out punishments, the way that the religious organizations want us to believe because it is by submitting us to these oppressive doctrines that we are subjected to their mercy and dictation. If we believe, as each one of us is capable of experiencing that God is a God of love, God is a God of understanding and compassion, then we have the power to refute the destiny that other humans have forced us to believe in, that we have the power to live a life that we choose and if we are worthy, love will find our way.

May you find the strength to stand up for the life that is meant for you and may God be with you, always.

Notes and References

[1] Christians used here and hereafter in its widest sense to include all faiths and denominations, Catholic and “Christians” alike that believe in one God, the Father of Jesus Christ

[2] Extracts from Catholic “Penitential Rites”

Bible References

I would like to emphasis that I am no bible scholar and cannot plagiarize the scholarship quoted in this article. Unless otherwise stated, the references, analysis, arguments and conclusion drawn from different biblical passages listed below are extracted from: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibl.htm

[3] Old Testament

Genesis 1: Be fruitful and multiply.....

Genesis 1:27 & 28: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, ..." King James Version.

Genesis 2:23-24: About marriage

"The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh'...For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh."

Genesis 19: The story of Sodom and Gomorra

This passage states that all of the people from the city of Sodom gathered around Lot's house and demanded that he send out two visiting angels so that the townspeople might "know" the angels. The word "know" probably implies that they wanted to have sex with the strangers. God later destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of the behaviour of the people of Sodom -- the Sodomites. Judges 19:14-29 appears to be a near exact copy of Genesis 19, in which a Levite plays the role of the angels. The mob accepted the offer of a woman to rape in place of the visitor. So, either the men in town were bisexuals, or they wanted to rape the Levite in order to humiliate him. The former is most unlikely, because male bisexuals are relatively rare. They total only about 3% of all male adults. Again, men raping a man, is a crime of power and control. It has no connection with loving, same-sex behaviour in a committed same-sex relationship, just as a man raping a woman has no connection with consensual opposite-sex behaviour in a committed opposite-sex relationship.

Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13: The abomination

Leviticus 18:22 in the King James Version states: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." Leviticus 20:13 is similar, except that it adds the death penalty as punishment.

Although the original Hebrew clearly refers to male-male sexual activity, both the Living Bible and New Living Translation refer to a prohibition of "homosexuality." This would include sex between two women -- a behaviour not mentioned anywhere in the Hebrew Scriptures.

Deuteronomy 23:17, etc: Sodomites and shrine prostitutes

Deuteronomy 23:17 in the King James Version states: "There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel." There are similar passages in 1 Kings 14:24, 15:12 & 22:46 and 2 Kings 23:7.

Conclusions from the Old Testament:

A common conservative conclusion: God's word repeatedly upholds one-man, one-women marriage as God's intent for relationships. It also repeatedly condemns same-sex behaviour between men and perhaps between women.

A common liberal conclusion: Genesis does mention the pairing off of one man and one woman into a marriage-like relationship. But this is only one of many possible marital or family relationships. There are a total of eight types mentioned in the Hebrew Scriptures. Genesis 19 definitely condemns rape. But this is unrelated to consensual same-sex sexual behaviour. The phrases in Leviticus only apply to Jews engaging in same-sex activity in Pagan temples. The references to sodomites in Deuteronomy etc. is a clear error in translation. Again it refers to ritual sex in Pagan temples.

There is nothing in the Hebrew Scriptures that condemns same-sex committed relationships or same-sex marriage.

[4] New Testament

Romans 1: Changing the natural use into that which is against nature....

Romans 1:26-27: "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet." (King James Version)

Paul directed this book to Christians in Rome -- a city known for its sexual debauchery. Earlier verses in Romans 1 describe how some former Christians had reverted to Paganism. They once more worshiped idols, and engaged in ritual sex orgies. God caused them to engage in same-sex sexual behaviour. This is the only passage in the Bible that directly refers to women having sex with other women.

Regarding the first sentence of this passage, in the original Greek, the phrase translated "vile affections" does not refer to passion or lust. It appears to refer to the "frenzied state of mind that many ancient mystery cults induced in worshipers by means of wine, drugs and music." The "women did change" (or "exchanged" or "abandoned") their normal sexual activity, which had been with a man or men. They engaged in sexual activities with members of the same sex, in violation of their heterosexual orientation.

In the original Greek, the phrase "para physin" translated as "against nature" or "unnatural" or "immoral" actually means "Deviating from the ordinary order either in a good or a bad sense, as something that goes beyond the ordinary realm of experience."

A common religiously conservative interpretation:

The late Bennett Sims, the former Episcopal Church, USA bishop of Atlanta, GA was a supporter of equal rights for gays and lesbians. During a talk that supported same-sex marriage, he expressed well the interpretation of this passage that is held by many conservative Christians. He said: "For most of us who seriously honor Scripture these verses still stand as the capital New Testament text that unequivocally prohibits homosexual behaviour. More prohibitively, this text has been taken to mean that even a same-sex inclination is reprehensible, so that a type of humanity known as 'homosexual' has steadily become the object of contempt and discrimination."

A. Mohler said: "The passage makes it clear that homosexuality is ultimately a rebellion of human nature against the divine creator. It deals with the heart of homosexuality, the passion of man for man or woman for woman."

A common religiously liberal interpretation:

It is important to realize exactly to whom this passage refers. It involved some former Christians who had converted back to Paganism and started worshiping idols in the form of humans, animals, and birds. They engaged in wild sexual orgies -- activity which was common in Pagan worship at the time. Although their sexual orientation was presumably heterosexual, under the influence of emotion, alcohol, frenzied activity, they engaged in same-sex behaviour: women having sex with women; men with men. In doing so, they violated their own nature, which was heterosexual. They were in turn punished, probably with an STD which was very common at the time. They were being punished because their behaviour was opposite to their fundamental nature. The passage is a condemnation of men and women with a heterosexual orientation engaging in same-sex behaviour outside loving committed relationships. It does not refer to persons with a homosexual orientation. It does not refer to persons with any of the three sexual orientations who were engaging in sex within a committed relationship.

By extension, this passage could be interpreted as forbidding opposite-sex sexual behaviour by persons with a homosexual orientation, because it would be against their basic nature to have sex with a person of the opposite sex.

1 Corinthians 6: Behaviours that will prevent a person from attaining Heaven:

1 Corithians 6:9-10: "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate [makakoi], nor abusers of themselves with mankind [arsenokoitai] Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." (King James Version) [Emphasis ours]

The New International Version translates the second highlighted group as "homosexual offenders." In Today's English Version, it is "homosexual perverts." There is an enormous range of interpretations that biblical commentators have made of the word "arsenokoitai."

A common religiously conservative interpretation:

From a forum on homosexuality and the Bible in the Philadelphia Inquirer:

A. Mohler: "I believe it explicitly relates to homosexuality. It has been understood that way in the Christian Church from the earliest era."

T. Crater: "It [malakoi] can have a meaning that's not carnal. But the way it's used -- it's embedded in the same context with adultery -- it's pretty clear what the meaning is...A hallmark of Evangelicals is that we take a literal, normal, face-value interpretation of the Bible. Some people attempt to keep some form of Christianity and hold on to homosexuality, too. It leads to strange interpretations of the Bible."

A common religiously liberal interpretation:

The Greek "makakoi" does not mean homosexual, it actually means effeminate. It can refer to a range of behaviours: people with loose morals, cowards, lazy men, etc.

The exact meaning of "arsenokoitai" has been lost. In one ancient manuscript, the Hebrew "quadesh" (temple prostitute) is translated into Greek as "arsenokoitai." Others suggest that it refers to gigolos; still others suggest it means masturbators or men who sexually abuse boys.

Since we do not know to which behaviours this passage refers, it would not be ethical to interpret as involving condemnation of homosexual behaviour.

1 Timothy 1: "Arsenokiitai" are lawless, disobedient, ungodly...

1 Timothy 1:9-10: "Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine." (King James Version) [Emphasis ours].

The King James Version translates "arsenokoitai" as those persons -- presumably men -- "that defile themselves with mankind." The comments for 1 Corinthians 6 apply here as well.

Jude 1:7: Sodomites going after strange flesh:

Jude 1:7: "Even as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire." [Emphasis ours] The phrase rendered "going after strange flesh" has been translated as "perverted sensuality", "unnatural lust", "unnatural sex", "lust of men for other men". It appears to refer to the incident in Genesis 19 when men of Sodom apparently wanted to rape two angels who were in Lot's home. God responded with total destruction of the two cities.

A common religiously conservative interpretation:

This verse is referring back to the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The male mob in Sodom rejected the offer of two virgin women for sexual purposes and demanded to have sex with the male angels instead. This proves that they were homosexuals. The passage clearly condemns homosexual behaviour.

A common religiously liberal interpretation:

The verse is ambiguous. Two obvious interpretations are:

The intent of the mob to rape the angels. Rape is a clear perversion of God-given sexuality.

The angels were created beings, but were not of the same species as humans. Raping them would involve bestiality. This would seem to match the statement that the men of Sodom went after "strange flesh."

[Author's note: personally I do not agree with the interpretation that angels are created beings and therefore involve bestiality because human are created beings as well. I believe Jude 1:7 is more about condemning the denial of hospitality to strangers rather than condemning homosexuality]

Conclusions from the New Testament:

A common conservative conclusion:

God's word repeatedly condemns same-sex behaviour, either between two men or two women. It delivers a consistent message from Genesis to Jude.

A common liberal conclusion:

There is no passage in the Christian Scriptures that condemns same-sex committed relationships or same-sex marriage.

Romans 1 condemns Christian apostates who apparently had a heterosexual orientation and who engaged in what was for them unnatural sex: engaging in sex with members of the same sex.

1 Corinthians 6 and 1 Timothy 1 are ambiguous. They might possibly relate to homosexual behaviour; but they might well refer to men who sexually abuse boys, or to male gigolos, or to male temple prostitutes. We just don't know. If these passages actually referred to persons with a homosexual orientation, they probably would not refer to loving, consensual same-sex behaviour in a committed relationship. Paul was writing before the existence of a homosexual orientation was known. The only forms of homosexual behaviour of which he was probably aware would have been males sexually abusing boys, and men engaging in of same-sex orgies during Pagan worship.

Jude 1:7 appears to refer to the desire by the men of Sodom to engage in bestiality with another species -- angels. There is none of this going on in by either homosexuals or heterosexuals today.[Author's note: personally I do not agree with the interpretation that angels are created beings and therefore involve bestiality because humans are created being as well. I believe Jude 1:7 is more about condemning the denial of hospitality to strangers rather than condemning homosexuality]

[5] The world was created in 7 days; all the species of animals were on the Noah’s Ark; the date of Creation/Origin of earth was 4004 BC according to Ussher Chronology etc. All of which are under dispute by modern scientists.

[6] Apart from the 4 accepted Canonical Gospels, there are other Gospels not accepted by the Catholic Church e.g. Gospel of Peter, Gospel of James, Gospel of Thomas etc.

[7] p.295 Why Am I A Catholic by Gary Wills, Houghton Mifflin Books, 2002

Feedback

Feedback From Readers

1) Thanks

I have read your paper this morning and identify hugely with it - thanks for conveying your inner journey. It is so well expressed.

I have been reflecting this weekend as to what Easter means to me and have been reflecting on the Lord's various interventions in my life and his fidelity to me....[removed to preserve anonymity of the writer]... He has been a God of love. Your third last paragraph beginning "in the early days" is particularly poignant, as it expresses so well the depth of the relationship that you have for God and his fidelity to you as a friend. The way that you express it is so real. Thanks.

In terms of finding the strength to "stand up for the life that is meant for me", my latest insight is that being gay in the Church is a sign to the "straight" community about their own sexuality. In my view most of the prejudice against gays is based on guys who are unsure of their own sexuality. The "straight" people who are genuinely accepting of me, impress me as being comfortable with themselves. I take the view that I do not have the problem being gay - it is the others problem. Perhaps I can help them to accept who they are!! Just a few thoughts.

Anyway, thanks for sharing with me. I experienced from points one to ten the emotions that you mentioned in your "struggle". I was outed in a most unfortunate way ....[removed to preserve anonymity of the writer]... so it was a huge learning curve.

Have a good Easter. Your paper is all about the Paschal mystery.

2) Leviticus

Leviticus 18:22 in the King James Version states: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."

Leviticus 20:13 is similar, except that it adds the death penalty as punishment.

This oft quoted piece of Hebrew Scripture has absolutely nothing to do with being Gay and loving your own sex, though of course those who are against same sex relationships, of any kind, draw on it as 'proof' that it is ungodly or against the will of (a Christian) God.

The laws as specified in these chapters were a means of protecting the Hebrew race - the line of Judah - and were simply a cause and effect against the waste of sperm. Nothing more, nothing less.

People who use this Scripture to rant against the Gay community are using God's word, (if that is what it is), out of context and in a quite ungodly manner.

Br Graham-Michael bSH